The definition of LOVE these days can be very backwards. Loving someone does not mean you affirm their behavior. You can love all people without agreeing with choices they make. When it comes to our own kids, loving them sometimes means we need to be tough and loving by telling them the truth, explaining things to them they need you to explain so that they can understand. Discipline is an action of love when done properly.
Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.
Love for our kids is very different than our love for our future spouses. First, our future/current spouses were strangers when we met them and not related to us when we decided to marry them. Of course, God says, when we get married, we become ONE flesh....anyway, Our kids come from us. A part of me and a part of the father of my kids make them so connected to us as family and legacy of future generations. Growing in our womb for 9 months, seeing them in our womb, feeling them move as they grow in our bodies is an amazingly beautiful and sacred journey for us, as moms. Yes, some of us get morning sickness, etc but pregnancy is a huge part of a Mom's journey to love and be there for our kids forever. Seeing them for the first time once they pop out of our birth canal is emotional.
Proverbs 29:15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
As moms, we want to do all that we are able, to keep them safe, feed them and bathe them, hold them with love and pray over them regularly. Of course, every moms journey is not the same. Some are very young and were not prepared mentally so they had challenges they didn't know to prepare for. Some moms really didn't want to have a child or didn't have a husband they could lean on during the process. I realize that not every situation is the best, but for the most part, Moms will love their child unconditionally forever. If you are a Mom, you definitely understand.
Raising our kids with love is not always easy because we always want to do the right thing at the moment. Sometimes it may not seem right to discipline them. Especially if we are first time young moms. But, the Bible is very clear on how we need to raise them. Unfortunately, when I was a young mom, I was not close to God. I knew Him but wasn't living for Him at the age of 19. I fell away like many do after high school. The journey of becoming an independent adult for the first time, after leaving our parents, was a bit confusing for me back then.
When it comes to disciplining your child with LOVE, God never wants us to do it in anger or disgust. He requires us to do it with patience and grace toward our kids so they can learn what is wrong and what is right behavior. Depending on their age, you will discipline according to what they actually did. Never just slap or punch them in a knee jerk reaction! Of course, if you are married, then you will need to discuss how you will both do it and be in agreement about it before you have kids.
You take them aside privately and sit on your couch or bed and explain what they did and why it was wrong. Then, optionally, you can tell them to bend over and slap them on their behind once or twice. Ask them if they are sorry and pray with them. Of course, the older they get, into teen years, hitting them on their behind is not going to work, in my opinion. But you may need to just take things away from them(cell phone, etc) temporarily and or send them to their room for a bit. The point is to make sure they understand what they did was wrong, and give them something to think about in the future. Prayer with them would be helpful too. Tell them you love them and forgive them after the disciplinary action.
Yes, that is parental love and it is not abuse, if done correctly. I did not have to do this often with my kids, but their Dad and I did do it when needed. I learned as time passed, like most of us.
Proverbs 1:8 My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother; for they will be a graceful ornament on you head, and chains about your neck. My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. If they say, "come with us, let us lie in wait to shed blood; Let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause; Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, and whole, like those who go down to the Pit; We shall find all kinds of precious possessions, We shall fill our houses with spoil; Cast in your lot among us, Let us all have one purse:" MY Son, do NOT walk in the way with them, keep your foot from their path; for their feet run to evil, and they make haste to she blood.
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