I want to introduce to you my testimony of God's grace and mercy recently. There are no words to describe how blessed and free I am now. I'll try to explain it in detail here. It is my hope and prayer that you will be encouraged and come to a place of victory with whatever type of deliverance you need.
Three months ago today, I heard a song on Christian radio that completely got me praying out of desperation and heartache, while driving to the supermarket. The song, "Desperate" by Jamie McDonald catapulted me over the edge into having more hope and faith needed for deliverance from alcohol. I was desperate. When I got home, I played it again and fell to my knees crying like a baby because I did not want to fall into that pit ever again. In the morning I heard a really good message on a pastors you tube channel that God put in my place to listen. There was so much heaviness in my heart and over my shoulders by then. He lifted every ounce of heaviness from me and since then I have not had a single desire or temptation to fall into that trap again. It was truly a miracle and I was so set free and filled with the joy of the Lord that I was in shock....I kept hitting myself, thinking "God!? You really healed me God, I'm in so much shock!"
I truly was tired of not honoring my Lord and savior, Jesus Christ, who suffered and died on the cross for me so I could have victory and deliverance over that behavior. That pastor also was used by God to bring to light, God's truth. If you are tired of being stuck and not knowing how to stop, please Know that the devil is a liar. God wants us all set free but we need to make the decision to want to stop.
I began drinking wine a little at a time about 20 years ago. It wasn't until 10 years ago that I started to drink more regularly. Because it is not typically considered a "hard" drink and it's socially acceptable, I just got hooked before I even realized it. The truth is, wine is a mind altering drug. God does not want our minds altered or drugged up because it effects your ability to hear His Voice and make solid choices. Most people do not start drinking to become alcoholics. Most times, you wake after a horrible night of not remembering anything that happened due to your heavy drinking and you still don't realize you have a problem. About 9 years ago, I began to realize my problem was getting worse but I denied it and kept drinking. Then, some serious issued happened with my adult kids and I crashed so hard from pain that only made me want to drink more.
My first mistake was falling into the trap of drinking a glass every night. No big deal right? Boy, was I wrong! Then during difficult times, my brain went to the bottle to use alcohol to numb the pain. The more pain I felt, the more I drank. We all understand that no matter what drink, drug or bad habit we use, the pain is only "numb" temporarily, which is why we keep ingesting it! Instead of me running to my Heavenly Father for comfort, I would just open another bottle. Instead of me reading God's word and remembering all His promises about how much He loves us and how valuable we are to Him, I listened to the enemy who wants all of us feeling down, depressed and valueless. The lies would not stop because I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. I had to go through that fire, endure the pain of falling away from my faith. My thoughts were, "how can I not feel pain when my kids who I absolutely adore have estranged from me. I literally thought the pain could not ever go away. Well, the devil is a brutal liar and his plans are to try to steal, kill and destroy us. The more we listen to his lies and forget God's promises, the more power you give the devil and you will never have deliverance. That journey truly brought me to where I am today and I am so grateful to God.
God is faithful and He loves you! No matter where you are in your walk with God, or no walk with God, He wants to set you free and fill you with His Holy spirit who loves and comforts us. It did take me about 3 failed attempts over the past 3 years of trying to quit on my own before I finally gave it all to God, asked for His forgiveness and strength to stay clean. He did it! God wants us free and He is waiting for us to totally surrender our weaknesses, our temptations, and anything that is keeping us from seeking God and desiring to know Him intimately.
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