Breaking Generational Curses

 

    There is a deep history of divorce and alcoholism in my family going back a few generations that I know of.  My Mom's side had the alcohol issues and my Dad's side had witchcraft and lots of divorces when divorce was not even popular like it is now.  When it comes to generational curses, we may not know all of it in some cases, but you can still break them!  I have 4 adult kids, 2 adult stepsons and 4 grandchildren so far. I don't want the curses to continue, which is why I did some research on the matter.

Look up one of my previous post on August 12, 2025 about spiritual warfare where I read a book shared to me by a friend and this book, written by  Bern Zumpano,  published in 1999.  So, even though I understood spiritual warfare for  many years, I'm using his information  which is organized in such a way for me to share and make it easier for others to understand. 

There are multiple scriptures in the Bible that explain our authority, as believers, to pray effectively.  With faith and understanding of our God given authority, we will have more success.

Matthew 16:19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven and whatever you bind on earth, will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

Luke 10:19 Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

1 John 4:4 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

These are only 3 basic scriptures where Jesus is talking to his disciples giving us spiritual authority while praying. There are many more that I'll share in future posts but I'll start with these 3 today.

I believe that my Mom is the first generation to stop the curse. She was delivered many years ago and never went back. I do not believe that she prayed to remove the generational curse though, so I am  doing it now. My father is not a Christian as of today so any generational curses do need to be removed also.  

Foundation of Curses and How to remove them:

1. Understand the reality of curses spoken of in the Bible.  

2. Sin opens the door to demonic curses. As unbelievers, we live in sin without the redemption of Jesus, so it will continue until we personally get saved and remove it.

3.Understand that when we do get saved, it is our spirit that is set free from sin through the blood of Jesus, dying on the cross and raised from the dead. His gift was a true sacrifice for all of us who accept it, confess and turn away from our sin.

4.  Our soul is not saved. Basically, our thoughts have to be renewed daily by asking God to renew our mind(soul)  so we do not listen to lies of the devil who only wants to kill, steal and destroy us. He does not have the power once we surrender our mind and thoughts to the Holy Spirit daily because we love God.  Deliverance comes when we truly believe the Word of God is TRUE.

5.  God gave us the authority in the Spirit realm to break power of curses in our family.

6. We want to obey God because that is where our blessing comes from.

7.  Respond to the devil by Ignoring those thoughts that you know are not from God! Do not fear.   

8.  Live life with expectation of God's goodness and Honor God in everything we do. 

                                Prayer for Breaking Generational Curses

Lord Jesus Christ, I confess to you all the sins of my ancestors and predecessors, my spouse's ancestors and predecessors, on all sides of all our families, back to our families origins.  I repent, on their behalf, for all their sins that caused the problem or generations curse or curses to come into our family lines.  In particular, I repent of all of their past sexual sins, of all sins of witchcraft or idolatry, and confess them to YOU, repent for them, and renounce them before YOU, right now, Lord Jesus Christ.  I repent for all whom they may have hurt by their past actions and sins, and ask Your forgiveness for all of their past harm to others.  I bless them to 1000 generations. I ask all these things of You, Lord Jesus Christ, in Your Holy Name.          AMEN!

Estranged Adult Kids

 

        

        There are so many reasons why our adult kids walk away from their family. Every situation is different.  In my experience with other moms who have shared with  me their story, many times it's because they walked away from their faith in God and didn't want to hear about it or be around it anymore.  Another reason is they were neglected or abused by someone early on as a child by someone other than their parents. That experience, you may not have even heard or known about because they didn't share it with you.  So, the enemy steps in when they go to expensive therapy sessions.  The therapist will ask about their childhood and it always will come back to us as parents.  The therapist does not encourage conversation with parents or healing of the relationship. They just focus on the pain that most times is not derived from the parents but they will believe that it's best to stay away from us. Now we become the enemy to our own adult kids. 

The irony of it all is our adult kids will eventually have kids and make mistakes too because that is life. Most of us do our best to raise our kids but we will all make mistakes, including our kids who want to stay away from us for our mistakes. 

The truth of the matter is, the enemy is deceitful and wants to destroy family relationships by indoctrinating people through the education system, through social media and other places over time to believe that family is not important.  That God is Not real. You don't need to get married. You can get rid of a baby in your womb if you don't want it.  Marriage means nothing.  Stay away from the moms and dads who raised you and you don't need to honor them because they must have looked at you the wrong way or punished you for skipping school one day. That we can be our own God.  

That is why I believe that we need to come together as Moms of faith to believe God for our kids.  We wrestle not against flesh and blood(people) but against spiritual wickedness in high places. This is spiritual warfare that we need to believe God to heal our adults minds and bring the Love of God back into their lives.  

Our Prodigals are coming home!

 

Here is my newest youtube video link!  Short but sweet and filled with encouragement!  

Our blog is still here on Blogger, but we added our NEW website to our SuccessFromTheSource.com domain so that you can now subscribe to our newsletter for updates. The link to our blog is on our new website for now.  

Also,  I will be starting a Momma's Prayer Hub very soon.  We will have a community morning prayer one time per week for about 30 minutes. I'll share the exact date that we begin the prayer hub in our newsletter. It will be taking place most likely on Mondays.  If you are a Mom with an estranged adult kid, please watch this and share to other moms you know who may need some encouragement. 

https://youtu.be/-J_nsdCEz5U   

America, Who Are You?

 I'm not going to lie...I am not happy with our country right now.  I was always so patriotic in the past but over the past 5 years, my view of America has severely gone down.  To clarify, I believe that most of the people here are good people.  I'm speaking of our government and the banking system. 

This flag used to mean so much to me along with all of the military who sacrificed their time and even their lives to defend our country and constitution.  I'll always respect and honor the military individuals who fought for us, but they did not know how corrupt our government is and was, when they signed up.    As of  now, our government higher ups have lied to us for over 100 years.   

The lies began to unfold for me with covid in 2020.  The entire covid ring was a hoax.  It was a test to control us by dividing us with mandating the stupid vaccine, keeping us home and out of church, masking us. I had 2 close family members on 2 different occasions, sit down with me and my husband to shame us for refusing the jab.  Now they should be ashamed for what they did, but I digress. 

 Second, finding out that our government has been wasting so much of our hard earned money on garbage that we didn't know about, is terrifying. Lobbying in congress should be illegal because of the bribery and money laundering that controls those who we have voted for.  I'll get into that subject another day.  Just learning of the lies that have literally awakened us to our slavery,  has changed my view of America and the entire world, for that matter.

My first suggestion is to do your own research. I will share documents and other legal things here and in my videos but you will need to "see" it and understand it before you could ever believe how bad things are. In the mean time, I know God knows what is going on and knows our future so all we can do as Christians, is trust God, remember His promises and do all we can to share the truth, the gospel of Jesus and salvation.

Thank you to President Trump who is working hard right now.  There is so much damage from the previous administration, it will be difficult to correct everything over the next 3+ years but I know he will do much. 

Let's remember to pray for our country, our president and all who work with him for protection and wisdom to do all that is constitutionally correct. I'll get into the banking system in my next post...

 

Charlie Kirk And My Son

         As you probably already know, Charlie Kirk was murdered recently on September 10th, while speaking at a Utah college campus for students.  He was a 31 year old husband, father and lover of Jesus who started Turning Point USA many years ago.  He was highly influential with his faith and conservative values to people of all ages, but mostly the younger generation because that was his mission.  He was killed for the Christian values he lived out daily and spoke of.  He was not afraid to get into the trenches, share truth, and debate peacefully with those who did not agree with him. 

My son, who is 28 years old and loves Jesus, was highly influenced and inspired by Charlies work. He actually met Charlie at his church 5 years ago.  Prior to meeting Charlie, he messaged him on Instagram to share how much he appreciated Charlies inspiring words and how it changed his life and faith. Charlie responded shortly after with kind words.  

 There are literally millions of young adults who loved Charlie and his message.  I was taken back so emotionally when I found out he was murdered a couple of days ago. At the same time, I realized that Charlies message that was inspired by God, can and will continue through us all!  It's time. Time for us as a church to stand up and speak about the gospel of love, repentance and new life in Jesus for all.  It's time for us to live out or faith without fear.  After all, the followers of Jesus in the Bible died for preaching the truth and now that we are in the end times, that should not deter us, if we are truly followers and lovers of God. Are you willing to live for Jesus and die for Him?

We need to get outside of the church building and not only rely on us inviting people to church to hear the truth. We need to speak it ourselves in our homes, on the streets and where ever the door opens for us to share God's Word.  Love our neighbors also.  

Remember this:  The devil wants to separate us all. The devil is teaching the lost that WE are hateful, which is not the truth, but a horrible lie.  The devil wants to break down the foundation of families and society.   My prayer is that we as Christian believers will stand up, walk in love and forgiveness to encourage those around us to band together as communities and families.  Even if we do not agree, we need to stick together because the devil wants the lost to hate us.  We pray for their salvation and that the truth would remove the scales from their eyes!  God, allow the lost to see you and want to know you whole heartedly.  Help us, as believers to encourage and reach the lost to surrender to you, God! 

Let's do this together!

Do you want to know Jesus?

 You will know that God is touching your heart, when you start questioning what you have heard about the Bible in the past.  If you have questions about the Bible or Jesus Christ,  then know that it is God who wants to reach you and show you the truth that will set you free. 

I remember when I was about 12 years old...I began going to a nice church with my mom in Long Island. It was called Love Church.  I had known friends who believed in God but I had never heard about salvation or knowing Jesus until I started going to church with my mom who had just gave her heart to the Lord.  She stopped drinking alcohol and smoking permanently after attending a weekend women's Christian retreat. 

 I remember giving my heart to Jesus because I had this "revelation" of who God was while reading the Bible for the first time.  Reading the red letters written in the Bible, (which was Jesus speaking) and something lit up in my soul.  I felt like God was speaking to me directly when I read the words of Jesus. It changed me that day and I knew God was real.

You can know Jesus is real also. I pray that God would open your eyes to Him.  Open your heart to want to be free, healed and delivered from sin. It does not matter what mistakes  you may have made over your lifetime.  What matters is that you are willing to go to Jesus and ask Him to forgive you. Repent, or turn away from your sin, begin a new life free from your past and get to know our Heavenly Father, the Holy spirit, and Jesus Christ, who are one.  

Jesus, the son of God, was sent by God to earth to die on the cross for all of our sin.  God knew before the foundation of the earth that we would never be able to go to heaven on our own good works.  We needed the blood of Jesus, the perfect sacrifice, to set us free eternally.  His love, the love and sacrifice of Jesus, is the one who gives us joy, peace and love. He gave us purpose and value that nobody can ever take away.  

Life is short.  Get to know your savior today.  He will change your life for the better. Knowing that you were not an accident and that you do have purpose on this earth, will deeply change your soul.  If you are ready to be born- again (spiritually), let us pray right now....

Dear Heavenly Father,

I ask that you forgive me of all my sin.  I repent from all my mistakes and bad habits that do not glorify you or help me in my life journey.  I want to begin a new life with you Jesus.  My past is yours and behind me. I look forward to your wisdom and guidance today and moving forward. I want to know you and learn your promises in scripture.  I thank you Lord Jesus for dying on the cross for me. It is your sacrifice that is setting me free today.  Amen!

If you prayed that prayer to God, please feel free to email me at sftsblended@gmail.com and I will email you a NEW BELIEVER'S Guide to Victorious Living! 

                                                Bible Scriptures for you to read 

2 Corinthians 5:17  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new.    

1 Peter 1:18-19    Knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things like silver and gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers, but with the precious blood of Jesus Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.

John 3:16   For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him, should not perish but have everlasting life.

If you need prayer, please ask me in your email and I will respond.  God bless you!! I can't wait to hear from you. Let's do this together!

Eileen

Updates and New Links Here! Thanks for Sharing too!

 

Welcome to the NEW Success From The Source!

My name is Eileen Brigantino and I will be focusing on Christian Moms/Grandmoms with families who I can encourage and bring some hope and faith during difficult situations that arise.  If you are not yet a follower of Jesus Christ, you have also come to the right place!  My mission and calling is to share the Bible, the gospel of Jesus and pray for the community of ladies who follow me here.   To build a family of Moms/Grandmoms with love and wisdom for one another.  

The time is now!  The world is going absolutely nuts, while we are working, taking our kids to school, going to church and trying to assist those that may need help in many ways.  Life goes on but seeing what is going on out there, in the news and in the world, can be a bit nerve racking.  We will trust God in all things.  We will find comfort in knowing that our Heavenly Father is with us every step of the way in our daily journeys.  He will  never leave us and He will guide us in the right direction individually.

Remember this:  In the book of Jeremiah chapter 1, verse 5, God says, Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; Before you were born, I sanctified you. I ordained you a prophet to the nations.

Romans 8:28 says:  And we know that ALL things work together for our good to those who Love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. 

Here is my official new Youtube Channel link:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrYUmhSBDwgGGbJ5DeU1ieQ

My husband is a distributor for high quality gun storage made here in the USA!

https://www3.tacticaltraps.com/#37110 

Facebook.com

Facebook.com/Successfromthesource 

Instagram

Instagram.com/Successfromthesource

X

X.com/SFTSblended 

Rumble

https://rumble.com/c/c-3371784

God's Calling Brings Spiritual Attacks?

 

Yes, it can, because the devil doesn't want you to speak God's truth!  By the time you are drawn by the Holy Spirit to step out by faith to fulfill your calling, you understand this is very possible, so do not have any fear.

I'm going through this right now.  Over the past few weeks, right after I announced my journey into sharing the Gospel of Jesus online, the enemy began attacking my husband and I spiritually.  That is also why I have not been online, due to the attacks but I'm posting now here and also on my youtube channel again, beginning today, Thursday, September 4, 2025.  

Most of the attacks have been coming from a neighbor.  Without sharing any personal information, it has been difficult and we have had to really pray for wisdom and clarity on how to handle the situation.  God wants us to love our neighbor, even the ones who are not mentally all there.  So, we took the reigns and told the devil to "get off our property and stop harassing us, spiritually."  We have authority, from God's Word to stand our ground and we did.  

Remember this: God never promised that we wouldn't face attacks.  He did promise to walk through the valley of the shadow of death, and other tribulations, with us. We are not alone in the fire.  He is always there to defend and uphold us every step of the way.  The way I see it, is the spiritual attack confirmed my calling. It wasn't just the neighbor. There were other things happening during the same time frame that was totally new and confusing, but we knew that God had us and we stood our ground, by faith. 

The Heaviness Is Gone!!

Do you know what it is like to wake up everyday feeling so much weight on your shoulders and pain in your heart, trying to believe God to help you?  Well, I do too and I felt it for a couple of years.  The heaviness was mostly due to listening to lies from the enemy.  I listened to those lies because I had a problem drinking wine, which effects our mental capacity.  God delivered me when I came to the end of my own strength and was ready to surrender all to Him. 

It is truly amazing how God uses things we choose with our own mind to open our eyes to understanding and having faith. He is faithful and wants us to see Him and follow Him.  To draw near to Him and know Him.  Sometimes it may take a lifetime or you may get it when you are young. That's OK. It took me until I was 59 years old to see him more intimately.  My eyes are open now and I want to be close to Him. I pray that if you are not there yet, that you will get there. 

There is no better feeling in life than to know that God is there for you and with you even in the hard times.   So many people fall away from their faith because they think that a good God would not allow bad to happen to us.   Not true. Once you have been through the fire and came out healed and changed, you then see God in a whole new light.  It changes you.  It did change me in such a positive spiritual way that is difficult to fully explain.  All I can do is share my journey and bring encouragement to anyone who needs it.  I'm not the only follower of Jesus who has experienced this. There are many. And I'm not bragging at all. My heart is humbled and I give Jesus all the glory and Credit for the change He made in me. 

Just know this:  God is loving and merciful to all.  He loves you more than you can ever understand.  Seek Him with all your heart and He will reveal Himself when you are ready to see Him. 

Prayer works! Just a little faith and God will move mountains!

Spiritual Warfare Prayer

 

            

A close friend of mine shared a book with me about prayer called, Spiritual Warfare Prayers, written by Bern Zumpano,  published in 1999.  This book is packed with scripture, how to pray with authority and sample prayers. Excellent resource that I will use here in this chapter.  I will also share a few short videos about spiritual warfare.  So important and much needed for us all! 

When we pray as believers, we have authority given by God to move mountains and remove evil from our homes, thoughts and situations that may come up in life. This includes our family, spouse, friends, work, church, and just everyday happenings. To break chains and generational curses from our family history so we can be FREE.   

Our prayers should be authoritative and not begging God because He has given us power to bind evil spirits on earth. Matthew 16:19  

He gives us authority to trample on serpents and scorpions (spiritually) Luke 10:19

He who is in you, is greater than He who is in the world. 1 John 4:4

We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, powers, rulers of darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to STAND.  Ephesians 6:12-13

These are just a few scriptures on how we have authority to pray, stand against evil and have victory.  We need to trust God, even when we do not understand what God is actually doing, or it looks like He isn't answering the way we want or when we want.  God is all knowing and will never leave us!  He goes with us through the fire and delivers us from it for His Glory.  

Having been in the "fire" in my last trial in my life, I am so amazed and grateful to God for all that I have learned and grown so deeply in my faith due to it.  It's not punishment. The devil is a liar! Trust God who is our creator and knows what is best for us. It's not easy, I understand, because I've been through it.  

Remember, God's Word is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path.  Let's study God's promises so that we can endure the difficult paths we go through. Once we get through it, I promise you will see clearer how God works and be so grateful for the journey. 

New Youtube Channel!

 Here is my official testimony video that goes with my previous post. Enjoy! 

                https://youtu.be/wfGoiuZl5f0?si=A3fSFKBQhjcRZe59

Please like, share and subscribe if you are encouraged by what you hear.  Thank you! 

                    https://www.youtube.com/@successfromthesource

Dedication To My Mom's Life And Memory

                                                 In Loving Memory Of My Mother

My mom passed away on April 17, 2025.  She was almost 84 years old. She was a good mom who did her very best to love her family.  She gave her heart to Jesus when I was around 11 years old and began attending a beautiful church.  I went with her and gave my heart to Jesus shortly after.  I'm so grateful to God for growing up in a good church that changed my life in such a positive way. I can't imagine living my life without knowing Jesus Christ and the promises He gave us in His Word, the Bible. Thank you Mom!

Deliverance From Alcoholism-Do Not Give Up!

 

   I want to introduce to you my testimony of God's grace and mercy recently.  There are no words to describe how blessed and free I am now.  I'll try to explain it in detail here. It is my hope and prayer that you will be encouraged and come to a place of victory with whatever type of deliverance you need.      

    Three months ago today, I heard a song on Christian radio that completely got me praying out of desperation and heartache, while driving to the supermarket.  The song, "Desperate" by Jamie McDonald catapulted me over the edge into having more hope and faith needed for deliverance from alcohol.  I was desperate. When I got home,  I played it again and fell to my knees crying like a baby because I did not want to fall into that pit ever again.  In the morning I heard a really good message on a pastors you tube channel that God put in my place to listen.  There was so much heaviness in my heart and over my shoulders by then. He lifted every ounce of heaviness from me and since then I have not had a single desire or temptation to fall into that trap again. It was truly a miracle and I was so set free and filled with the joy of the Lord that I was in shock....I kept hitting myself, thinking "God!? You really healed me God, I'm in so much shock!"

     I truly was tired of not honoring my Lord and savior, Jesus Christ, who suffered and died on the cross for me so I could have victory and deliverance over that behavior. That pastor also was used by God to bring to light, God's truth. If you are tired of being stuck and not knowing how to stop, please Know that the devil is a liar.  God wants us all set free but we need to make the decision to want to stop.  

    I began drinking wine a little at a time about 20 years ago. It wasn't until 10 years ago that I started to drink more regularly.  Because it is not typically considered a "hard" drink and it's socially acceptable, I just got hooked before I even realized it.  The truth is, wine is a mind altering drug.  God does not want our minds altered or drugged up because it effects your ability to hear His Voice and make solid choices.  Most people do not start drinking to become alcoholics.  Most times, you wake after a horrible night of not remembering anything that happened due to your heavy drinking and you still don't realize you have a problem.  About 9 years ago, I began to realize my problem was getting worse but I denied it and kept drinking.  Then, some serious issued happened with my adult kids and I crashed so hard from pain that only made me want to drink more.

    My first mistake was falling into the trap of drinking a glass every night. No big deal right?  Boy, was I wrong! Then during difficult times, my brain went to the bottle to use alcohol to numb the pain.  The more pain I felt, the more I drank.  We all understand that no matter what drink, drug or bad habit we use, the pain is only "numb" temporarily, which is why we keep ingesting it!  Instead of me running to my Heavenly Father for comfort, I would just open another bottle.  Instead of me reading God's word and remembering all His promises about how much He loves us and how valuable we are to Him, I listened to the enemy who wants all of us feeling down, depressed and valueless.  The lies would not stop because I was too busy feeling sorry for myself.  I had to go through that fire, endure the pain of falling away from my faith.   My thoughts were, "how can I not feel pain when my kids who I absolutely adore have estranged from me. I literally thought the pain could not ever go away. Well, the devil is a brutal liar and his plans are to try to steal, kill and destroy us.  The more we listen to his lies and forget God's promises, the more power you give the devil and you will never have deliverance.  That journey truly brought me to where I am today and I am so grateful to God.  

    God is faithful and He loves you! No matter where you are in your walk with God, or no walk with God, He wants to set you free and fill you with His Holy spirit who loves and comforts us.  It did take me about 3 failed attempts over the past 3 years of trying to quit on my own before I finally gave it all to God, asked for His forgiveness and strength to stay clean.  He did it! God wants us free and He is waiting for us to totally surrender our weaknesses, our temptations, and anything that is keeping us from seeking God and desiring to know Him intimately. 

Long Overdue Updates

 In March of 2023, I believe that God led Eric and I to begin our journey with Success From The Source.  We had just made a huge move from Florida to Tennessee and were still settling in. I thought we would start out slowly and eventually get to creating a full time ministry online for Christian blended families.  

Well, that hasn't happened yet due to so many family issues that have come up since then.  My Mom just passed away yesterday. She was ill for about 3 years, since before we moved to Tennessee. That alone was mentally and spiritually time consuming.  We traveled back and forth to Florida for her and other family gatherings that we needed to attend.  We still have my father who is in an assisted living facility currently due to his memory issues at the age of 84.  So, I just felt that it was necessary to let our followers know what has been going on. 

Because of all of these events, we moved our website into a blog for now. At some point this year, Lord willing, we will continue our journey with more intention and planning. Due to the fact that our 6 kids are all adults living on their own now, we will focus more on Christian family values and relationships, and not just blended family issues. Thank you so much for reaching out to us and we appreciate your support.

Mom visiting us last summer 2024

Marriage

     

This is my 2nd marriage and my forever marriage.  We can say that we truly know each other after being together meeting over 23 years ago.  He gets me. He understands me totally. I get him and understand him. We did not get each other totally when we met but after all this time, we really do now.  

    It took probably the first 10 years to really solidify our love.  Years of difficulty and trying times from outside sources mostly. But we got through it because we were committed to each other.  He saw how much I appreciated him and all he did.  He was and is our bread winner.  I never thought he should come home and do more work in the house and so I made sure he had dinner on the table, the house was decent and laundry was done. I worked on and off most of these past 21 years married, mostly independent jobs and business but he supported me and that made it so much more special.  

    The most important thing we all can to do is respect and support our spouse when it comes to making decisions.  The husband and wife need to work together in all decisions and be sure that you both are on the same page, whatever page that is.  We were able to communicate with each other daily so there was hardly ever any surprises.  I wanted him to be happy so I gave him my all. He wanted me to be happy so he gave me his all. That’s what is comes down to in a nut shell. 

    If you are upset and feel that you are doing more than your supposed to, have a conversation with your spouse about it in a loving way.  Don’t allow yourself to build up disappointment. Direct Communication is key.  Remember why you decided to get married. 

4 Blended Family Foundations for Christians

     There are 4 important foundations necessary to your success as a blended family. First, your relationship with your creator is key. Our love for Jesus Christ and following Him gives us strength and patience, forgiveness and love for others especially our own family. Next, your relationship with your spouse and how you work together in your new marriage is going to get you through difficult times. Your commitment to each other and to raising all the kids as a new family is important. When you both decided to get married, you knew it would be blended because of the fact you both had kids from a previous relationship. Hopefully, you both truly love each other and are willing to make your new marriage and family successful and blessed.

      The second pillar is building unification and trust in your newly blended family. Creating new traditions like church attendance and prayer together, loving support, regular specific time together as a family and open communication when needed. The kids will need to get to know you and each other in the home. You will need to learn how to relate to each child and work together as husband and wife with discipline and understanding especially in the beginning.

    Third, learning how to co-parent with your Ex. This is huge and is usually the biggest issue in the blended family. You do not want to allow outside influences to get between you and your spouses relationship. Respect and honor are necessary with the biological parents who are not in the home. Responding to them peacefully, even if they are not nice to you. Remember, they may not be on the same page as you and you can not control their behavior. Only yours. So, keeping the peace for the kids sake and the peace of your home is important.

    Fourth, understand your boundaries as a step parent. As a step parent you are NOT THE parent but a loving adult who cares about your step kids as IF they were your own. We must allow our spouse to co parent with their Ex without too much interference. A major problem that I have seen over the years is when the Moms sometimes compete with who is the boss because as a step mom you are now married to a man who you believe should be pleasing you and not the Ex. But when it comes to the kids, he should be trying to co parent, not to please you or the EX, But to make sure the kids understand they are loved and parented by both of their biological parents.

• Facebook
• Instagra

Is Marriage Commitment 50/50?

 Marriage is not 50/50. It should always be 100/100.  In the beginning, you may not want to and will test your spouse or wait for them to do 100% first and if they don’t, you will step back and do less also. Big, huge mistake.  True love in marriage is committed to 100%.  You give 100% from day 1 and you will be surprised at how grateful they are and will not hesitate to return 100%. When we first realize that we are falling love, it could be a bit scary at first but with God in your relationship, take a step of faith, one day at time. Imagine how amazing your marriage could be if you both just loved one another and gave your all. Apologizing when you screwed up.  Giving your all to your spouses kids as well as your own. It is possible.

I noticed when we were first were married 21 years ago, my husband was somewhat hesitant and I could tell. I knew he loved me but there was some holding back at first.  I gave him all and was there for him and after a small amount of time he began just giving more and more of himself to our relationship.  We both came from a previous marriage that did not end well and beginning a new one could have been more difficult.  Just remember to be sure you are both ready to dive in and dedicate everything to one another when you decide to get married. 

It’s not always easy.  Beginning a new marriage with your kids and your spouse.  Moving in together and getting to know one another.  Understanding each other, building relationships with all the kids in order to maintain peace and joy in your home.  Outside influences are mixed in at a certain level also.  It will take time to build a new foundation of trust. 

First things first.  God and your relationship with HIM is always priority. Then, You and your spouse need to put each other first in your marriage. Support each other.  Then the kids come next, whether they are yours or your spouses.  In this order, you will both know instinctively how important all the kids are because they are your spouses kids and yours, period. Meaning, you love God who brought you together and wants you to love your spouse. You love your spouse so you naturally want to love and care for their kids in the best way you know how. 

Take one day at a time.  Be patient with each other and the kids.   Pray together often.  Trust God to bring you through the tough times and the enjoy the good days.   

• Facebook
• Instagram
• 
  

Honoring Our Parents

 

Just as we have a heavenly Father who we are to honor, God created family with parents that we are commanded to honor. Ephesians 6:2-3

Why wouldn’t we? After all, even though all parents are imperfect, God designed us to honor them. I grew up with a beautiful mom who became a Christian when I was about 10 years old. I started going to church with her and gave my heart to Jesus at the age of 12. Right around that time, my Dad, who was not a believer struggled to stay with my mom and left us.

This was a difficult time for us as a family. My father has since then apologized to me and my siblings and even my Mom for leaving. Eventually he did end up getting remarried to another woman and had 2 more kids. He knows he made a mistake many years ago. I still remember watching him walk out of the house with his suitcase and leaving us. I remember feeling so so sad and empty because I loved Dad and couldn’t understand how he could walk away. Even though we all went through painful times back then, we forgave him and understand now, as adults, how things can fall apart just because we are broken people. All of humanity is broken and many of us grow up in hurtful situations due to our parents growing up in hurtful situations. That is life.

Now that I’m in my late 50’s, I understand this even more. God knows this better than we do and still wants us to honor our parents. It’s His first commandment with promise. Of course, we will never be in total agreement with everything our parents do. We are all different, even as we grow in our faith, we naturally have different opinions about many things. God still knows that having children and raising them the best we know how will still have us fall short yet He expects us to honor and respect our parents.

So, what does it mean to Honor our parents? Remember, God does not say honor them if they do everything right. He says, honor your parents regardless because they chose to bring you into the world and raise you. For example, many of us honor the military for their sacrifice and dedication to our country. They are not perfect but they are doing something super amazing in my view. Really, having some consideration and respect while in your parent’s home or having conversation is simple and not that complicated. It takes time, resources, commitment and unconditional love to care for our kids. It takes true sacrifice to be a good parent. Life is all about giving and building a strong family foundation so our kids will learn and grow up to do better than we did. That is what most parents want and strive for. A better life and legacy that we can pass on to our kids.

If you are struggling to love and honor your parents, I pray that God will give you a desire to forgive them and see them differently even if they hurt you in the past. Forgiving does not mean you agree with what they did to hurt you. You are not suggesting that by forgiving them, they are right. Forgiveness is always for our emotional and spiritual benefit because then you will have peace in life. Holding a grudge and being bitter about how someone hurt you is not going to make things better. It only hurts you. Pray for those who hurt you, including your parents. Remember that you are not perfect and have made mistakes also. The same way God gives us mercy and grace every single day, we need to have a heart of forgiveness and grace toward others, especially our parents and family members.

• Facebook
• Instagram
• 
  

Keeping The Faith

     

How many times in your walk with Jesus, have you questioned the events that have happened in your day to day living? I can’t even count how many. I’m in my late 50’s and have been a believer since I was 12. There are too many to count for me but as much as I know that my God exists, and I’ve seen God answer the most seemingly impossible prayer requests over my lifetime, there are still questions that do arise.

    What is most important is knowing that you know. Like a small 5 year old that will believe anything their parent tells them because they know that their Mom or Dad is smart and loves them. They don’t understand the meaning of love and trust, but their inner being and their heart knows better. God created us to be able to trust Him with faith. Believing that He knows better than we could ever know because He knows the future and He wants the best for us. He does not force us to believe though. He created us to decide what we wanted to do and never wanted to force someone to love or trust Him. That is what faith is all about. When we can’t see the future, or understand what in the world is going on in our life, we will know that God will work it out.

    An unbeliever will not see things the same way. They usually will question why God would allow people to suffer. “If God is so good, how could he allow bad things to happen?” is usually the big question. This is a crazy world with evil in it. God created us knowing that Adam would sin but then God would send His only son Jesus Christ, to pay for our sin on the cross. In the mean time, there is still evil because not everyone in the world chooses to do good. We, as believers, fall everyday too. I still believe that God is good and He planned it so we would be able to choose Him and want to be close to Him. Life is not perfect and just because we believe in God doesn’t mean we will never go through difficult times. It means we will have HIM to comfort and support while we go through our trials.

    Think about it…. as a believer who has gone through some trials in life, haven’t you learned from them? Did you grow spiritually in your understanding of what God was trying to teach you? I did. I do every single time. Even now, while I’m in the trial of my life, I have learned to trust God, knowing that His Grace is sufficient for me and the more I pray and seek Him, He reveals Himself in the most amazing ways. God always has a plan who knows the future, knows how many hairs are on our head and loves us unconditionally. Trusting God comes from going through difficult and pain full times coming out on the other end victoriously.

Read Philippians 4:6-7

Parental Love

 There are no perfect parents, but most of us truly love our kids unconditionally and always want the best for them. Yet, we make mistakes because we, ourselves, grow up with pain from our parents too, who also grew up in imperfect homes. There is a spiritual battle going on that we need to recognize, as believers.

The only way to really move on is to realize this fact, that nobody is raised in a perfect environment. God’s grace is new every morning. His command to forgive 70 times 7 toward each offense is not unrealistic but sometimes difficult depending on the situation.

Add onto this, the trauma of a divorce with kids in our mix. We need to take a breath…. and know that we are not the only ones that go through it and need to learn from it.

I was married at the age of 18 while pregnant. I went to a Christian high school and grew up in the church with a heart after God but after graduation, I went on my merry way and moved out to move to NYC with my cousins. They were good to me but I fell away from Jesus and my faith as a young adult. I met a neighbor of my cousin in the Bronx and we started messing around. I never fell in love with him but decided to get married anyway. I don’t regret my decision because my kids are such a blessing to me and I would never want to change the fact they are mine. I just was not fully there, mentally or emotionally, as a mom being so young. I loved them but I just wasn’t ready to pay attention.

After 14 years of marriage and 4 kids, we began going to counseling which led our counselor to suggest that we separate temporarily. He refused to leave, so I went to stay with my sister. I told him I would come back to the house daily to make sure the kids were ok while he was at work. One day, while the kids were in school, I came to the house and my neighbor told me she saw him take my clothes from the closet into his car. I checked the closet and all my clothes were gone along with a check from our tenant who was renting our first home in Philly. My ex took that check for himself and did not pay the mortgage. He didn’t use the money to feed his kids or make sure the electric was on. We lost that house to foreclosure.

I decided I needed to come back and I changed the locks on the front door. He broke the window while I was at work, so I then had to file court order for him not to come back without me knowing. He left for his Mom’s house but didn’t tell me. We then lost our main home to foreclosure shortly after that. I had apply for child support and we moved to an apartment in NJ where my new job was. My kids went through much trauma at that time due to all the craziness they saw. I wish it didn’t happen that way, but he just was not doing the right thing at the time.

It’s a sad story but a year and a half later, I met my now husband, Eric and I have been together since 2001. Married over 22 years to an amazing man that I am so grateful for.

Going Through Disappointment With Family?

     

There are many levels of disappointments.  If you order food and something is wrong with it, you can be disappointed.  If you set a goal to lose a few pounds and find it difficult to stay on your diet and lose the weight, you may be disappointed in yourself right? Then there are major, painful disappointments that do happen between trusted family or friends and yourself by their actions.  Sometimes, there is so much pain in it and you are not sure if your relationship will ever be the same again.

    That is what I want to write about today.  The painful stuff doesn’t happen very often and it doesn’t always last forever but it can be so catastrophic that you aren’t sure how to deal with it.  Maybe you did something  they didn’t agree with or like and they reacted wrong, or vice versa.  Done by someone you love, like your adult kids.

    Whoever is a fault, we know that God wants us to always be forgiving.  Forgiving is the easy part for me. I am not a judgmental type person. I’ve always been that person who tries to understand other’s actions before I would get upset, but always have a forgiving heart for them.  Not easy. I just know that is the heart of God. His love is so deep for us, merciful and forgiving. He wants us to be the same so I try my best to do as God wants because I need forgiveness from God every single day! 

    If you are going through some sort of deep disappointment with family or a loved one, I want to offer a FREE 21 day Prayer devotional download to you so we could go through it together or you can do it on your own. It’s up to you.  Remember, all the pain journeys and trials we endure are meant to draw us closer to our God and to learn that He is always with us during the darkest times.  I pray that God will bring peace and hope for you and your relationships. Click on the link below and it will bring you to the landing page to subscribe to our weekly emails.  Our FREE prayer journal devotional download is below as well.    God bless you! 

Communication With Your Spouse

 In one of my recent videos, I spoke about feeling distant with your spouse.  One of the reasons is due to your communication, or lack there of.  Actually, not speaking is a form of communication, and not a very fruitful one.  Sometimes, out of frustration or hurt, you back away from your spouse.  If that is happening, you definitely want to turn that around. Not sure how?  Well, I always remind myself why I love him.  No spouse is perfect but we should remind ourselves of the positive traits they have and choose to encourage and support them on a daily basis.

When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do after I turn on my coffee maker, is begin praying.  I thank God for all of His blessings. I thank God for my husband and family, our health, our income, our home, and all the opportunities that will come our way during the day for us to bless another in some way.  Being full of gratitude really does make a difference.  Focusing on the good has always been my goal and it definitely helps my mental and emotional awareness. 

If we have a disagreement about something, we both try to discuss why we have different views on that situation.  I first try to see things from his perspective and not just insist that my way or view is better.  Trying to understand each other takes effort.  Take a breath and listen while they are speaking.  Look at their heart. Communicating each other’s true feelings about something and understanding how each other got to that view, even if we don’t fully agree is so important for your relationship.  Giving in and not being stubborn about everything will open up your relationship to more deep conversation which builds trust over time.  Learn to give and not always take. Learning to receive from your spouse is also a good thing.   Growing your relationship for a lifetime requires commitment and true love.