Marriage

     

This is my 2nd marriage and my forever marriage.  We can say that we truly know each other after being together meeting over 23 years ago.  He gets me. He understands me totally. I get him and understand him. We did not get each other totally when we met but after all this time, we really do now.  

    It took probably the first 10 years to really solidify our love.  Years of difficulty and trying times from outside sources mostly. But we got through it because we were committed to each other.  He saw how much I appreciated him and all he did.  He was and is our bread winner.  I never thought he should come home and do more work in the house and so I made sure he had dinner on the table, the house was decent and laundry was done. I worked on and off most of these past 21 years married, mostly independent jobs and business but he supported me and that made it so much more special.  

    The most important thing we all can to do is respect and support our spouse when it comes to making decisions.  The husband and wife need to work together in all decisions and be sure that you both are on the same page, whatever page that is.  We were able to communicate with each other daily so there was hardly ever any surprises.  I wanted him to be happy so I gave him my all. He wanted me to be happy so he gave me his all. That’s what is comes down to in a nut shell. 

    If you are upset and feel that you are doing more than your supposed to, have a conversation with your spouse about it in a loving way.  Don’t allow yourself to build up disappointment. Direct Communication is key.  Remember why you decided to get married. 

4 Blended Family Foundations for Christians

     There are 4 important foundations necessary to your success as a blended family. First, your relationship with your creator is key. Our love for Jesus Christ and following Him gives us strength and patience, forgiveness and love for others especially our own family. Next, your relationship with your spouse and how you work together in your new marriage is going to get you through difficult times. Your commitment to each other and to raising all the kids as a new family is important. When you both decided to get married, you knew it would be blended because of the fact you both had kids from a previous relationship. Hopefully, you both truly love each other and are willing to make your new marriage and family successful and blessed.

      The second pillar is building unification and trust in your newly blended family. Creating new traditions like church attendance and prayer together, loving support, regular specific time together as a family and open communication when needed. The kids will need to get to know you and each other in the home. You will need to learn how to relate to each child and work together as husband and wife with discipline and understanding especially in the beginning.

    Third, learning how to co-parent with your Ex. This is huge and is usually the biggest issue in the blended family. You do not want to allow outside influences to get between you and your spouses relationship. Respect and honor are necessary with the biological parents who are not in the home. Responding to them peacefully, even if they are not nice to you. Remember, they may not be on the same page as you and you can not control their behavior. Only yours. So, keeping the peace for the kids sake and the peace of your home is important.

    Fourth, understand your boundaries as a step parent. As a step parent you are NOT THE parent but a loving adult who cares about your step kids as IF they were your own. We must allow our spouse to co parent with their Ex without too much interference. A major problem that I have seen over the years is when the Moms sometimes compete with who is the boss because as a step mom you are now married to a man who you believe should be pleasing you and not the Ex. But when it comes to the kids, he should be trying to co parent, not to please you or the EX, But to make sure the kids understand they are loved and parented by both of their biological parents.

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Is Marriage Commitment 50/50?

 Marriage is not 50/50. It should always be 100/100.  In the beginning, you may not want to and will test your spouse or wait for them to do 100% first and if they don’t, you will step back and do less also. Big, huge mistake.  True love in marriage is committed to 100%.  You give 100% from day 1 and you will be surprised at how grateful they are and will not hesitate to return 100%. When we first realize that we are falling love, it could be a bit scary at first but with God in your relationship, take a step of faith, one day at time. Imagine how amazing your marriage could be if you both just loved one another and gave your all. Apologizing when you screwed up.  Giving your all to your spouses kids as well as your own. It is possible.

I noticed when we were first were married 21 years ago, my husband was somewhat hesitant and I could tell. I knew he loved me but there was some holding back at first.  I gave him all and was there for him and after a small amount of time he began just giving more and more of himself to our relationship.  We both came from a previous marriage that did not end well and beginning a new one could have been more difficult.  Just remember to be sure you are both ready to dive in and dedicate everything to one another when you decide to get married. 

It’s not always easy.  Beginning a new marriage with your kids and your spouse.  Moving in together and getting to know one another.  Understanding each other, building relationships with all the kids in order to maintain peace and joy in your home.  Outside influences are mixed in at a certain level also.  It will take time to build a new foundation of trust. 

First things first.  God and your relationship with HIM is always priority. Then, You and your spouse need to put each other first in your marriage. Support each other.  Then the kids come next, whether they are yours or your spouses.  In this order, you will both know instinctively how important all the kids are because they are your spouses kids and yours, period. Meaning, you love God who brought you together and wants you to love your spouse. You love your spouse so you naturally want to love and care for their kids in the best way you know how. 

Take one day at a time.  Be patient with each other and the kids.   Pray together often.  Trust God to bring you through the tough times and the enjoy the good days.   

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Honoring Our Parents

 

Just as we have a heavenly Father who we are to honor, God created family with parents that we are commanded to honor. Ephesians 6:2-3

Why wouldn’t we? After all, even though all parents are imperfect, God designed us to honor them. I grew up with a beautiful mom who became a Christian when I was about 10 years old. I started going to church with her and gave my heart to Jesus at the age of 12. Right around that time, my Dad, who was not a believer struggled to stay with my mom and left us.

This was a difficult time for us as a family. My father has since then apologized to me and my siblings and even my Mom for leaving. Eventually he did end up getting remarried to another woman and had 2 more kids. He knows he made a mistake many years ago. I still remember watching him walk out of the house with his suitcase and leaving us. I remember feeling so so sad and empty because I loved Dad and couldn’t understand how he could walk away. Even though we all went through painful times back then, we forgave him and understand now, as adults, how things can fall apart just because we are broken people. All of humanity is broken and many of us grow up in hurtful situations due to our parents growing up in hurtful situations. That is life.

Now that I’m in my late 50’s, I understand this even more. God knows this better than we do and still wants us to honor our parents. It’s His first commandment with promise. Of course, we will never be in total agreement with everything our parents do. We are all different, even as we grow in our faith, we naturally have different opinions about many things. God still knows that having children and raising them the best we know how will still have us fall short yet He expects us to honor and respect our parents.

So, what does it mean to Honor our parents? Remember, God does not say honor them if they do everything right. He says, honor your parents regardless because they chose to bring you into the world and raise you. For example, many of us honor the military for their sacrifice and dedication to our country. They are not perfect but they are doing something super amazing in my view. Really, having some consideration and respect while in your parent’s home or having conversation is simple and not that complicated. It takes time, resources, commitment and unconditional love to care for our kids. It takes true sacrifice to be a good parent. Life is all about giving and building a strong family foundation so our kids will learn and grow up to do better than we did. That is what most parents want and strive for. A better life and legacy that we can pass on to our kids.

If you are struggling to love and honor your parents, I pray that God will give you a desire to forgive them and see them differently even if they hurt you in the past. Forgiving does not mean you agree with what they did to hurt you. You are not suggesting that by forgiving them, they are right. Forgiveness is always for our emotional and spiritual benefit because then you will have peace in life. Holding a grudge and being bitter about how someone hurt you is not going to make things better. It only hurts you. Pray for those who hurt you, including your parents. Remember that you are not perfect and have made mistakes also. The same way God gives us mercy and grace every single day, we need to have a heart of forgiveness and grace toward others, especially our parents and family members.

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Keeping The Faith

     

How many times in your walk with Jesus, have you questioned the events that have happened in your day to day living? I can’t even count how many. I’m in my late 50’s and have been a believer since I was 12. There are too many to count for me but as much as I know that my God exists, and I’ve seen God answer the most seemingly impossible prayer requests over my lifetime, there are still questions that do arise.

    What is most important is knowing that you know. Like a small 5 year old that will believe anything their parent tells them because they know that their Mom or Dad is smart and loves them. They don’t understand the meaning of love and trust, but their inner being and their heart knows better. God created us to be able to trust Him with faith. Believing that He knows better than we could ever know because He knows the future and He wants the best for us. He does not force us to believe though. He created us to decide what we wanted to do and never wanted to force someone to love or trust Him. That is what faith is all about. When we can’t see the future, or understand what in the world is going on in our life, we will know that God will work it out.

    An unbeliever will not see things the same way. They usually will question why God would allow people to suffer. “If God is so good, how could he allow bad things to happen?” is usually the big question. This is a crazy world with evil in it. God created us knowing that Adam would sin but then God would send His only son Jesus Christ, to pay for our sin on the cross. In the mean time, there is still evil because not everyone in the world chooses to do good. We, as believers, fall everyday too. I still believe that God is good and He planned it so we would be able to choose Him and want to be close to Him. Life is not perfect and just because we believe in God doesn’t mean we will never go through difficult times. It means we will have HIM to comfort and support while we go through our trials.

    Think about it…. as a believer who has gone through some trials in life, haven’t you learned from them? Did you grow spiritually in your understanding of what God was trying to teach you? I did. I do every single time. Even now, while I’m in the trial of my life, I have learned to trust God, knowing that His Grace is sufficient for me and the more I pray and seek Him, He reveals Himself in the most amazing ways. God always has a plan who knows the future, knows how many hairs are on our head and loves us unconditionally. Trusting God comes from going through difficult and pain full times coming out on the other end victoriously.

Read Philippians 4:6-7

Parental Love

 There are no perfect parents, but most of us truly love our kids unconditionally and always want the best for them. Yet, we make mistakes because we, ourselves, grow up with pain from our parents too, who also grew up in imperfect homes. There is a spiritual battle going on that we need to recognize, as believers.

The only way to really move on is to realize this fact, that nobody is raised in a perfect environment. God’s grace is new every morning. His command to forgive 70 times 7 toward each offense is not unrealistic but sometimes difficult depending on the situation.

Add onto this, the trauma of a divorce with kids in our mix. We need to take a breath…. and know that we are not the only ones that go through it and need to learn from it.

I was married at the age of 18 while pregnant. I went to a Christian high school and grew up in the church with a heart after God but after graduation, I went on my merry way and moved out to move to NYC with my cousins. They were good to me but I fell away from Jesus and my faith as a young adult. I met a neighbor of my cousin in the Bronx and we started messing around. I never fell in love with him but decided to get married anyway. I don’t regret my decision because my kids are such a blessing to me and I would never want to change the fact they are mine. I just was not fully there, mentally or emotionally, as a mom being so young. I loved them but I just wasn’t ready to pay attention.

After 14 years of marriage and 4 kids, we began going to counseling which led our counselor to suggest that we separate temporarily. He refused to leave, so I went to stay with my sister. I told him I would come back to the house daily to make sure the kids were ok while he was at work. One day, while the kids were in school, I came to the house and my neighbor told me she saw him take my clothes from the closet into his car. I checked the closet and all my clothes were gone along with a check from our tenant who was renting our first home in Philly. My ex took that check for himself and did not pay the mortgage. He didn’t use the money to feed his kids or make sure the electric was on. We lost that house to foreclosure.

I decided I needed to come back and I changed the locks on the front door. He broke the window while I was at work, so I then had to file court order for him not to come back without me knowing. He left for his Mom’s house but didn’t tell me. We then lost our main home to foreclosure shortly after that. I had apply for child support and we moved to an apartment in NJ where my new job was. My kids went through much trauma at that time due to all the craziness they saw. I wish it didn’t happen that way, but he just was not doing the right thing at the time.

It’s a sad story but a year and a half later, I met my now husband, Eric and I have been together since 2001. Married over 22 years to an amazing man that I am so grateful for.

Going Through Disappointment With Family?

     

There are many levels of disappointments.  If you order food and something is wrong with it, you can be disappointed.  If you set a goal to lose a few pounds and find it difficult to stay on your diet and lose the weight, you may be disappointed in yourself right? Then there are major, painful disappointments that do happen between trusted family or friends and yourself by their actions.  Sometimes, there is so much pain in it and you are not sure if your relationship will ever be the same again.

    That is what I want to write about today.  The painful stuff doesn’t happen very often and it doesn’t always last forever but it can be so catastrophic that you aren’t sure how to deal with it.  Maybe you did something  they didn’t agree with or like and they reacted wrong, or vice versa.  Done by someone you love, like your adult kids.

    Whoever is a fault, we know that God wants us to always be forgiving.  Forgiving is the easy part for me. I am not a judgmental type person. I’ve always been that person who tries to understand other’s actions before I would get upset, but always have a forgiving heart for them.  Not easy. I just know that is the heart of God. His love is so deep for us, merciful and forgiving. He wants us to be the same so I try my best to do as God wants because I need forgiveness from God every single day! 

    If you are going through some sort of deep disappointment with family or a loved one, I want to offer a FREE 21 day Prayer devotional download to you so we could go through it together or you can do it on your own. It’s up to you.  Remember, all the pain journeys and trials we endure are meant to draw us closer to our God and to learn that He is always with us during the darkest times.  I pray that God will bring peace and hope for you and your relationships. Click on the link below and it will bring you to the landing page to subscribe to our weekly emails.  Our FREE prayer journal devotional download is below as well.    God bless you! 

Communication With Your Spouse

 In one of my recent videos, I spoke about feeling distant with your spouse.  One of the reasons is due to your communication, or lack there of.  Actually, not speaking is a form of communication, and not a very fruitful one.  Sometimes, out of frustration or hurt, you back away from your spouse.  If that is happening, you definitely want to turn that around. Not sure how?  Well, I always remind myself why I love him.  No spouse is perfect but we should remind ourselves of the positive traits they have and choose to encourage and support them on a daily basis.

When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do after I turn on my coffee maker, is begin praying.  I thank God for all of His blessings. I thank God for my husband and family, our health, our income, our home, and all the opportunities that will come our way during the day for us to bless another in some way.  Being full of gratitude really does make a difference.  Focusing on the good has always been my goal and it definitely helps my mental and emotional awareness. 

If we have a disagreement about something, we both try to discuss why we have different views on that situation.  I first try to see things from his perspective and not just insist that my way or view is better.  Trying to understand each other takes effort.  Take a breath and listen while they are speaking.  Look at their heart. Communicating each other’s true feelings about something and understanding how each other got to that view, even if we don’t fully agree is so important for your relationship.  Giving in and not being stubborn about everything will open up your relationship to more deep conversation which builds trust over time.  Learn to give and not always take. Learning to receive from your spouse is also a good thing.   Growing your relationship for a lifetime requires commitment and true love. 

Marriage Bliss

 

Blissfulness is basically reaching a state of perfect happiness.  Even though we may be so grateful for who God sent to us to live a happy married life with, no marriage is ever without disagreements and faults.  Marriage bliss is possible but life itself is always going to have troubles, ups and downs, stress, etc.  I wanted to encourage you both to appreciate and support one another always.  Blended or not, marriage itself can, and should be, a life long commitment to each other.  

Eric and I have been married for 22 years now.  We both were married before briefly and had kids with our previous spouses, thus the name, Blended! Things did not work out the first time in our previous marriage but it is absolutely working out now.  I am forever grateful to God who brought my husband into my life. God knew exactly what I needed.  That is why God is so good. He knew before he created us in our mother’s womb, that we would be imperfect. Before the foundation of the world, God’s plan was to send HIS son into the world to suffer and die on the cross for our imperfections and sin. He did it because He loves us unconditionally and eternally.  With all that said, we all make our own choices and we all must live with the consequences of our mistakes but His Grace is sufficient for us all. 

Before you make that life long commitment to one another, pray and ask God if this is the one.  You many know already, after getting to know that person over time. Sometimes, it could be questionable. Only the two of you will really know.  

With Eric and I, we were together for a little over a year when I was working in a nail salon.  One day, A nice woman came in to get her nails done. We chit chatted for a few minutes while I began her manicure and then she asked me if she could share a Word that she believed God wanted me to hear. I responded, “Wow! of course you can! I am a believer and would love to hear it!”  She proceeded to tell me that God brought my boyfriend into my life and to get married. She didn’t tell me anything that was a surprise but it was a confirmation.  I was excited and on the way home after work, I stopped at Eric’s job to tell him the good news. He was excited too. We decided to get married about 3 months later. That was December 7th, 2002. The best day of our lives.

Has it been blissful ever day since then? Nope. But we learned to understand each other and support each other in all situations.   Trust God every single day, even when life gets tough, painful and even confusing.

The most amazing blessing you could ever have is being a blessing to your spouse that God has brought into your life.  As husbands and wives, our relationship will only be as good as our commitment to make it work. Don’t give up!  

A Good Man

     

After about a year of being a single Mom of 4 beautiful kids, I was mentally exhausted and needed a break.  I called my sister in the Poconos of Pennsylvania where she lived and asked her if I could drop my 4 kids off so I could go see my Dad in NY. Of course, she said, “no problem.”   I drove a couple of hours to her house, dropped my kids off and off to Long Island I went.

    When I got to my Dads house, I wanted to go to a local club that evening and he was not up to going with me so I looked one up in the yellow pages.  I told my Dad, “I’ll go to this place alone. I don’t care. I just need some relief.”  I walked into this place alone and ordered a beer. Then, I walked over to the dance floor.  As i was dancing on the dance floor, I looked over by the front and saw a really handsome man walk in.  He got my attention.  He and his friend went over to the bar.  I followed after him. His friend hit on me but I was not interested. I asked him, ” hey, who is your friend? ” and  he introduced us.  That was the beginning of the best of my life.  By the end of the night we could not stop talking and so we exchanged phone numbers.  Over a week later, he finally called me.

    It turns out, he left my number in his friends car who he didn’t see for a few days. When he finally called, we arranged for him to come see me at my home that weekend in Pa. He was a complete gentleman and slept on the couch downstairs. My kids were upstairs.  Our conversation continued the entire weekend getting to know each other.   Within 3 months, he moved in with me and my kids.  I trusted him completely. No I was not going to church at the time. I do not recommend or will encourage shopping for a man in a bar to anyone. I’m just being honest how things progressed.  

    After a year and a half, we decided to get married and that was 21 years ago.  The absolute best decision I have ever made. He gave his heart to Jesus within a year of us living together and we were married shortly thereafter. He was baptized a few years later. This man I married is totally committed to me and my family and has been a hard working man who loves my kids and now our grandchildren. My entire family loves him because of how good he has been to us. I am so grateful to God for sending him to me so quickly after my divorce.  

    We have been through so much chaos over the years especially in the beginning. That is a huge reason why we decided to begin this journey with Success From The Source.  We have learned so much and came through victoriously in the worst of the worst stressful situations.  

Get To The Root Of The Issue

    

I love pulling weeds out of my garden. I can actually pull weeds all day, if needed! When I pull the weeds, I make sure to pull out the roots as best as possible. Why? Because the weeds will grow back again and again. When a doctor diagnoses your illness, most times they will prescribe you a drug that treats the symptoms and not something to get rid of the actual problem. So, we continue to have the illness but the doctor will keep you as comfortable as possible by downsizing the symptoms for your illness.

    If we were to do our own research and due diligence, we may actually find that if we change our diet to a healthier group of foods with specific vitamins and minerals, we may be able to remove the actual illness.  That is why I needed to write this today.  When it comes to spiritual issues in our lives, it’s important to reflect on what actually is the problem and not just the symptoms. For example, you may be depressed and have anxiety.  Most of us may turn to a temporary fix like an alcoholic drink once in a while to relax us and help numb some emotional pain.  Maybe even eat more food.  We may turn to anything else but trying to understand why we feel/act the way we do. 

    What I love about our Heavenly Father is He is always there for us even when we don’t want to see Him or look to Him for wisdom or comfort. He will never force us to do anything. He wants us to want to draw near to Him, honor and trust Him on our own.  He desires that we run to Him when we need help and when we need anything. Think about it….He is our source for all things in our life.  Even the physical things. Everything. If we try to fix our emotional struggles strictly via a drug, an activity, relationships or anything besides Him, we will not be totally better.  To be clear, God can use activities and relationships and people to heal you. Relying on those things only and not God is the issue.  If we allow God to heal our thoughts, our motivations and downfalls, and we understand why we are acting a certain way, we can be fully changed for the good.

    Ask God to help you understand whatever your issue is and Why it is present in your life.   You may not get a direct "why" of what is going on, and that's ok.  Trust God that he will work all things out for your good and you will eventually understand the process.  Ask God to forgive you if you do see that your actions were not good due to anger or pride.  Ask God what is the root of your issue and He will show you if you truly want to know.  He is willing and able to remove the root of the problem so you can move on in victory with your life.  

Estranged Adult Kids

  This is a difficult story to write but it needs to be shared.  My husband Eric and I have 6 adult kids between us from our previous marriages.  Their ages are from 27 to 38 years old.  Three out of the six kids are estranged for different reasons.  Those 3 are mine.  

My youngest daughter was the first to walk away, over 10 years ago when she and her husband decided to get married without us even knowing when or where it would be.  That decision was absolutely all her husbands ruling.  He is very controlling.  She did tell us they were getting married at first and we actually went to a bridal salon near us with my other 2 daughters one day for her to pick out a wedding dress.  It was quite an emotional day for all of us, but they did not know when or where they were going to get married at that time but thought it would be in a few months.  Then sometime after that, I found out from another family member that she did actually get married. I called her husband directly to ask what was going on and when they actually were married. He said to me, “It’s not your business.”  That was the beginning.  He was never involved with our family or wanted to visit. She came to see us 2 or 3 times over 10 years.  Then, in 2020 I encouraged her and her husband to come visit us. They live in Texas and we were in Florida. I offered to pay for his airline ticket and eventually, he agreed to come with her to visit us for about a week. 

All was good for the first day. The next day we had a family get together at our home and my sister in law asked him what he thought about BLM.  The summer of riots was currently happening. Things heated up with my son in law and my brother for a while.  My husband asked them to stop multiple times but they didn’t listen.  Eventually my brother and his wife decided to leave and the conversation continued with my son in law outside toward me and my husband.  We spoke for a few minutes and things heated up again.  Her husband called me some nasty names. My husband reacted by telling them to leave and go back to my other daughters house where they were visiting.  I cried my eyes out having to do that but he was so disrespectful. I’m grateful to my husband who protected me and did not allow my son in law to continue his disrespect in our home.  It was not my daughter who was disrespectful. It was always him, but ever since then she refuses to speak to me and has blocked me from calling her. She just gave birth to our youngest grandchild 9 months ago and I have not met her yet. Since her daughter was born, she has distanced herself from everyone in the family. My prayer is for a family reunion one day...

 My other daughter has estranged herself from me on and off since she got married about 4 years ago.  No matter what I do or not do, it is not acceptable to her and she doesn’t like the fact that I pray for her or that I’m a believer in Jesus Christ. She wrote a beautiful book about her faith in high school when she was a believer.  Her husband is amazing and I have a beautiful grand daughter from them now.   I’ve tried so hard to understand why she doesn’t like me and want to make things right but there is nothing I can do other than continue praying that God would heal our relationship. I love her and have always been there for her over the course of her life.  

Then there is my son who I am so very proud of who has recently stopped communicating with us also.  We had a huge disagreement about 6 months ago and my heart is so heavy with how things turned out that night. I believe it was more of a misunderstanding between us that turned into a bad evening.  The one thing that kept me hopeful before this incident occurred, was that I knew I still had a good relationship with my son.  Obviously, not as good as I thought.   I believe that this generation has been so indoctrinated by TikTok and other internet platforms that they actually believe there is no need to honor their parents.  We as parents are apparently narcissists, according to so many of our adult kids.  No, most of us are not.  When God commands us to honor our parents, it’s not because we are “know it all’s” or that we are to be worshipped.  God wants us to honor our parents as we would honor Him.  If we can not or choose not to honor our parents, we will not be able to honor our God. It’s just the way he created us to be. 

Forgiveness is so important here.  We know that sometimes in rare situations there are some evil parents who may have done the unthinkable to their kids. In that case, we are to forgive our parents but not necessarily stay in their lives unless there is a complete repentance and turn around of that parent who hurt you so badly.  I’m not speaking of those cases.  Forgiveness toward those who hurt us is really for our own good.  Also because we all need forgiveness for our own actions during our lives. If we can’t forgive, why should we expect God to forgive us? He wants us to be like Him.  Loving, forgiving, humble, peaceful and caring. He says we need to love our neighbor as ourselves.  If you love God, you will seek to do what He desires. What He desires is going to bring peace to our own lives.  

 if you are currently in an estranged situation with one of your adult kids, continue to to pray for them and love on them.

**Update: My son and I have been reunited about 5 months ago!  Don't stop praying! 

American Family

 Eric and I have been a blended family for over 22 years now but more importantly, we are an American family.  Blended or not, we love each other and value our time together.  We both love our kids, grandkids and family.  We work hard every day, pay the bills, go to church, have goals and dreams and just do life the best way we can.  We are always growing spiritually, striving to be closer to God and learn from our mistakes.  We know God gave us a purpose on this earth and we do it together with patience, support and prayer.

Isn’t that what life is about?  Finding what your calling is and who you will live that life with? We all have a valuable purpose to be alive and that is why we are here. Not everyone finds that purpose right away. Many of us struggle, fall, drift and get lost until we figure it out! That is why we have hope and a reason to live.  That is why America was built over 200 years ago.  The American family is the foundation to society that grows and thrives. 

Our founding fathers were not perfect but the people who wrote our constitution wanted freedom. They did not want to live under a King who ruled their lives. They wanted freedom to live our God given lives to pray, raise our families with faith and to know God’s word, the Bible.   Our country was built for all people to have freedom, even if they were not Christians or Jewish.  Freedom to build a business and freedom to do what we were called to do. 

As we move forward here with our blog and videos, we will continue to speak about our blended family issues but also share the goodness of being married as husband and wife here is the United States of America.  We hope you will be inspired by what we share and believe.  

Appreciate Your Spouse

 If you take every single person on earth and look at their behavior, no matter how good of a person they are, you will see mistakes. You will see bad behavior, bad habits and selfishness at times.  In most people, you will see good behavior as well.  My point is, whoever you are married to right now, that you chose to give your lifetime commitment to, they have good and bad in them.  Why did you decide to  marry that person?  What made you fall in love with them?  Always keep that in the front of your mind and heart.  

Be grateful for all the good things your spouse does for you and your kids and your family.  If your wife always does so much without you even having to ask, make sure you tell her how appreciative you are! Same for your husband who works so hard, wants to protect you and be a good Dad, he needs to see that you are appreciative too.  All of us will do things because we love someone, but it makes it so much more rewarding when our spouse is grateful for what we love to do for them anyway.

We all have made mistakes and will also make them in the future.  I believe that if you focus only on the bad or annoying things your spouse does, then you will not last too long.  But, If you can remember that you are not perfect and may do some things that your spouse may not love or like also, then it truly becomes difficult for you to be looking down at your spouse as if you don't do anything wrong.  

When I say to focus on the good, I do not mean that you should never bring up issues that arise with behavior or actions you don't agree with. Of course, that is where good communication comes in and that is a different subject I'll bring up in our next blog post and video.

Understanding that you and your spouse are just 2 adults that met, fell in love and are building a solid, family foundation and legacy together,  makes your marriage so much more valuable.  Appreciate your spouse and be grateful for every thing they do.  Give 100% of your heart to one another without reservation and that will build trust for one another over time.  Jump in with all you've got from day 1.  No reservations.  When you love God and you know that God brought you both together, then you can trust God and your spouse.  Focus on the good. Focus on what made you fall in love in the first place.  

Broken Relationship With Our Adult Kids

 If you are a Christian parent of an adult Child who has left your life recently, let it be known that this is an ongoing situation happening very often.  There are many reasons for this and it's all demonic in nature.  If  the devil can influence our adult kids to see us as small, unimportant and unloving individuals...in order to break down the family, disrespect and dishonor the parents who raised them and loves them unconditionally.... what do you think their kids will do to them? They obviously do not believe that they do anything wrong and if they did do something wrong, it would not be nearly as bad as our asking them to not ignore us while sitting in our home.  I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but the devil is a liar and I have seen literally thousands of Christian mother's in a social media group I'm in, with broken hearts due to their adult kids arrogant and abusive behavior.  We as Christian Moms and Dads, are in spiritual warfare and need to pray and fight for our Adult kids. 

Am I saying we are all perfect?? NO. For the most part, these parents have made some mistakes but have tried to make things right and nothing is good enough.  Many are not even sure what they did! I'm not here to make excuses for anyone's behavior but I am saying that 99% of the moms who are going through this for no major apparent reason that would be good enough for their adult kids to choose to never speak to them again...love and forgive their kids unconditionally.  It's our adult kids who are loosing out so much by walking away. We will never walk away unforgiving and not giving grace to our kids because that is how God made us. 

Yes, it's painful but our concerns should be more for what is spiritually going on with our kids that made them choose to walk away. We, as parents, will do everything that we can from our end to make things right. Let's continue praying for our kids that God would infiltrate their heart to do the right thing. If they are hurting for any reason, we pray that God would heal their hearts and emotions.

Isaiah 49.25

Ephesians 6:1-4