Putting all my thoughts together when I write, is sometimes difficult because I have so many subjects I believe I need to share and talk about it. This subject for today's post, has been in my life for 16+ years now. My youngest daughter went to Bible college and we were excited that she wanted to go. Shortly after, she told us she met a guy. Ok, we were excited for that as well, since he was enrolled with her at the college. We assumed he was a Christian. They came to visit us for the weekend and they argued a few times. We told them they had to in sleep separate bedrooms and maybe that was the issue. She was about 20 years old at that point. He was nice to us but very distant.
A few months later, she told me they were getting married and so she came alone and I took her and my 2 other daughters to a beautiful bridal shop nearby. It was a very emotional day for the 4 of us. She left and then told me a week later that she did not know when they were getting married yet so everything was on hold temporarily. Then, a couple of months after that, I found out through my other daughter that she had gotten married to him!! I was devastated and immediately called her husband. I asked why he didn't tell us and when was the actual date. He said, "It's none of your business."
Huh? He turned a 360 and didn't want to give us any information. I was so angry, not so much that they didn't have a big family wedding that we would have paid for, but him not wanting me to know their actual date of marriage. Not something, we as moms ever dream would happen.
During that time, my husband and I knew we were going to lose our home that we had tried to save with bankruptcy over 5 years. The house wasn't worth what we purchased it for and we were done so we moved to Florida. We told our 2 daughters including the one who had just gotten married that they could all stay there until the bank took it back. Temporary, but it would be free and they did move in. We asked him to make sure to cut the grass with our lawn mower and he refused. He literally thought we were being racist because we asked him to cut the grass, and we did not ask our daughters to do it. Then we got a call from our neighbor that said she saw him beating his dogs who were also with them in our home. She said she called dog rescue and they took the dogs from them. They moved out after that and went back to Texas.
My daughter did come visit us in Florida one time alone. She put make up on her face, texted a picture of herself with make up to her husband and he immediately told her to take it off. Another shocker for me. What is going on here? By 2016, my husband and I bought another home and we hadn't seen her for a couple of years. She did start calling me to correct me about Bible scripture and I found out she and her husband were into the Black Hebrew Israelites cult. I went on a rampage of investigation and learning all I can about it. It is NOT good at all, but now I understood why he was the way he was toward us and even my daughter. He was originally raised by his father, who was a Muslim, which was bad in itself. But now this? And, why would he go to a Christian Bible college? I'll never know.
Fast forward to 2020 and we invited them to come visit us since we had planned a family get together. He was not going to come and I asked her to please come with him since he is part of our family and it was a while since we had seen him. We offered to pay for his flight, so he came. We had a large family dinner at the house and my sister n law started talking to him about BLM riots that were very big that summer. He responded by arguing with my sister n law and my brother while my husband and I were outside with a few other family members.
My husband went in the house to stop them, but they didn't stop. A few minutes later, we went in again and they were not done. Why my sister n law would start a conversation with a young black man about BLM in the first place, I'll never understand, but they ended up leaving.. My daughter and her husband came outside and he continued talking. My daughter was very respectful but not her husband who, after a few minutes was calling me white racist pig, etc. My husband had to tell them to leave. My heart was broken for my daughter who never said anything while he was calling me names. Obviously, he is very controlling, which is probably why she said nothing. That was the last time I spoke to her or saw her.
Almost 2 years ago now, she gave birth to their first child and I have never met or seen this baby. The only reason I found out about her being pregnant was because she met my mom in Puerto Rico with her mother n law right before my grand daughter was born. Since then, my daughter has not communicated with any of her family including myself.
It is estrangement but not because I ever had any relationship issues with her. It was her husband who coerced her to believe we were no good by fighting with us when we last saw him. He made it very clear that she should never talk to us again because we are racist. Well, that's a lie since my first husband, my four kids" father, was black. I am Puerto Rican and would never marry someone and have kids with a black man IF I was racist.
I pray for my daughter who is now 36 years old. It is very sad that she would, from the very beginning, not call me on her own to tell me that they were going to get married alone instead of having a big wedding. It all started because of him and I pray for him too.
